I’ve thought about the counselor asking if you felt like you were going back to second place. I am very disturbed with the advice that is being given to people about “doing your own thing and to hell with everyone else.” I think that is responsible for a lot of the divorces and unhappiness in the world today . . .
Dr. Wayne Dwyer had a lot to do with this when he wrote the book, Your Erroneous Zones. I bought the book, and it made me so angry I couldn’t finish reading it. Same with the book Dance of Anger. I get very angry and up on my high horse when I think about that one, too. For one thing, I had the feeling Dwyer didn’t realize there were two genders. In my opinion he was only aware of the male. For another, he kept pounding at the idea that you should do what you want to do.
As an old lady, I’m here to tell anyone who will listen that life is not made of up of doing what you want to do! When a person commits to marriage and parenthood, your time of living for yourself is gone – FOREVER!
When I look back over my life, it is hard to see what I have done just for myself. I have, of course, learned to find my own space and time in my mind. Finding Unity has been the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I have said for many years that living strictly on the physical plane has very little joy for me. I can’t see why some people fight so hard to live.
I can’t see anything so wonderfully exciting or invigorating about getting up in the morning, fixing breakfast, doing dishes, making the bed, picking up the papers, doing laundry, fixing lunch, doing dishes, and doing some more laundry and housework. An exciting day for me might include a good telephone conversation, or possibly meeting an interesting person in the grocery store or on the street. And for this I should spend money on vitamins, try to eat right and exercise so I can prolong this wonderful life experience? HA!
The joy I have comes from sharing with Quentin (and that does not usually include doing just what I want to do.) As a matter of fact, I have felt very restricted in doing what I want to do, and it is much more so now. You are a big joy to me, and I cannot imagine my life without you. There are many things, but one of the big joys is being able to share thoughts with you. There is no one else I can be so free with. I do love the boys, but the relationship is so very different.
Getting along with daughters-in-law does not always come under the title of “doing just what I want to do.” I love and enjoy the grandkids, too – there again there is very little that qualifies as “doing what I want to do.” There are none of these relationships, including the one with you, where I can say I am number one and I can and will only do what I want to do within that relationship.
My greatest joy in life comes from learning and growing mentally and spiritually. The great thing about having your “space and happiness from within” is that a person can stay more or less detached and still do what has to be done to give other people a reasonable amount of happiness.
