Finding humor in absurd situations.

I received letters from my mother over a course of several months regarding “The Avis Situation.”  We didn’t know at the time that stroke survivors, Alzheimer’s patients, and people with other dementia related diseases often display inappropriate sexual behavior.  Initially Madelyn was amused – then she got upset with him because it became such an obsession, and he had no monitor when it came to talking about sex.  Eventually she decided he wasn’t “playing with a full deck”, and she chose to find the humor in Quentin’s attraction to the woman he’d taken to his high school senior prom.

I have learned since then that inappropriate sexual behavior by an Alzheimer’s patient, a stroke survivor, or anyone suffering with a demential related illness is not a rejection of their loved one. It is a result of damage done to the brain, which often lowers an individual’s awareness of acceptable social behavior.

Acting out by Alzheimer’s patients and people with other dementia related diseases is often a result of discomfort they cannot express.  Bad behavior can be brought on by pain, hunger, and thirst.  Often these people need some kind of comfort, but they are unable to express that need verbally.  Dealing with this bad behavior takes a lot of patience, compassion, and understanding on the part of the caregiver’s spouse, children, and friends as well as their professional caregivers.

(Recorded at the Wisconsin State Conference on Alzheimer’s and Related Diseases, May, 2010.)

Read more about this in Sex & Dementia Part 2