Moments with Madelyn Series – Free Articles

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A Moment with Madelyn  – Claim Some Time for Yourself

Based on an excerpt from Letters from Madelyn, Chronicles of a Caregiver

By:  Elaine K. Sanchez
Email:  Elaine@EKSanchez.com

Sometimes when caregivers do something just for themselves they feel like they are taking something away from their care receiver. The opposite is true.  Having something to look forward to and doing an activity you enjoy energizes you; it relieves stress, and it helps you to feel refreshed. When you are  feeling balanced physically, mentally, and emotionally, you are better able to care for others.

It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Your idea of an enjoyable activity might be setting aside half an hour to read, meditate, or go for a walk. Perhaps you enjoy listening to music or watching a particular television program.  Maybe you just want uninterrupted time to have a phone conversation with a friend.

Try choosing one activity and then follow these three steps.

• Schedule the activity at the same time every day
• Let your care receiver know that this is your time and you do not want to be disturbed
• Do it.  Make it a part of your routine

This is what Madelyn had to say about her special time each day.

“The one place where I don’t give in to Quentin is when I want to sit in the living room by myself and read at night. He never wanted me to do that when he was well.  Now he says he can’t sleep if the light is on, and the noise of the turning pages bothers him.

He never has any trouble sleeping in the daytime.  The dishwasher can be going, the TV can be on and the sweeper running and he can sleep without any problem.  I told him last night to not worry if he couldn’t sleep while I was reading, because he wouldn’t have any trouble when it’s daytime and I’m working.  I need some time for myself, and if he can’t sleep, he will just have to stay awake.”

Like Madelyn, you may experience some initial resistance from your care receiver and even other family members. If you stay firm in your resolve to take care of yourself by setting aside some time each day to do something you enjoy, eventually everyone else will accept it and respect it, and in the end, all of you will benefit.

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Elaine K. Sanchez is a Caregiver Survivalist, author, and speaker whose passion is helping people cope with the emotional stress of caregiving. To read more articles, watch videos, sign up for her free newsletter, or contact her about speaking for your group, visit her website at:  www.ElaineKSanchez.com.
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