Moments with Madelyn Series – Free Articles

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A Moment with Madelyn – Savor Happy Memories

Based on an excerpt from Letters from Madelyn, Chronicles of a Caregiver

By:  Elaine K. Sanchez
Email:  Elaine@EKSanchez.com

People who are chronically ill or suffer constant pain can get demanding, cranky, and depressed. Being with them can get extremely tiresome, and it can be easy to forget  who your loved one was before he or she got sick.

Focusing on a happier time helped Madelyn get through a particularly rough spot when everything Quentin did irritated her – including the way he huffed and puffed when he got into and out of bed.  Focusing on the positive emotions she experienced on one particular day before he got sick helped her readjust her feelings toward him.  She wrote:

“I’ll never forget Valentine’s Day, 1993 when we were in Port Richy, Florida.  We were on our way to meet my sister, her husband, and another couple at a very elegant country club. On the way, we stopped at a grocery store to see if we could find an inexpensive floral gift for Jean and her friend.  We were about to give up when the clerk showed us an orchid mounted in a small white wicker basket.  We selected two.  I must have been looking wistful, because Quentin asked if I would like to have one.  I said I sure would!

It was so pretty that I didn’t want to mess up the corsage by wearing it, so I kept it in the basket.  Our meal was delicious.  There was free champagne and a flower for each lady.  As we drove around that day I had the most joyous awareness of how much I loved my husband of fifty-one years. The flower lasted three weeks.  This is another experience I’ll never be able to repeat, but I’m so glad I have the memory.”

If you are a caregiver and you are feeling especially angry, frustrated or depressed,  think back to a a specific happy occasion you shared with your care receiver. Focus on the positive, loving feelings and the joy you experienced as you remember the event. Recapturing  the emotions associated with that positive experience may ease some of your stress and give you the emotional boost you need to get through a tense moment or or even a bad day.

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Elaine K. Sanchez is a Caregiver Survivalist, author, and speaker whose passion is helping people cope with the emotional stress of caregiving. To read more articles, watch videos, sign up for her free newsletter, or contact her about speaking for your group, visit her website at:  www.ElaineKSanchez.com.
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